do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?
This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.
^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.
In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes. And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.
It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.
I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.
“NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.
“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.
Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.
same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM
when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,
and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black circles) if i was walking down the street.
so of course i came back with
moving out of the way for them as i walked.
he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.
i find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. the whole limp-wrist thing? that’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.
taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed.
It’s also why you can seriously freak people out if you’re a woman by sitting back in your chair and draping your arm over the backrest of the one beside it.
It’s claiming space, and more importantly, it’s powerful body language. In primates (including humans), the individual that “opens” its chest—that is, leaves it open to attack—is the most dominant of them, precisely because it shows a confidence that no one WILL attack you.
Look at someone who’s comfortable vs someone who’s uncomfortable—the uncomfortable person will inevitably cross their arms or cover their chest to in an instinct to protect the thoracic cavity.
So, when you want to look HELLA confident, open up your chest and make direct eye contact. It feels weird (for women!) at first, but it’s the fastest way to freak a dude out. They genuinely do not know what to do when a woman displays behaviour they recognize as confident.
This was interesting. Literally never thought about it before.
I was JUST thinking about this post on Friday, because I was flying, and the guy next to me put his bag down (which, guys flying ALWAYS carry two enormous bags onto the plane that I could never get away with, but WHATEVER) and then sprawled his legs out on either side of his enormous bag and immediately claimed the armrest, and I curled up in this careful tiny ball on the other side. And the thing was, I kept trying to reclaim space but this meant I kept brushing up against him and he wasn’t moving out of my way and I didn’t want to have a confrontation with him on an hour-long flight (because it was just an hour) and then after a while I started to be worried he would think I kept brushing up against him because I was interested in him or something or because he was just a creep who wanted to force me into a position to have to touch him and basically guys have no idea HOW MUCH ENERGY women have to devote to this sort of insane and exhausting thing.
He waits, watching with envious eyes. You’ve only been working on this show for a few weeks, but you’ve seen him spend more time doing it than you’ve seen him ham it up in front of the camera. When you asked the line producer, she just told you to ignore it, that it’s just Guy’s thing, that it means nothing, do your job. But you’re beginning to think it’s more than a habit. There’s something dark down there, beneath those sunglasses. As you watch Guy stare into the food from afar you can’t help but feel that there’s something other than hunger in his heart. Is it lust? Is it… contempt? You suppose it doesn’t matter. Just a few more weeks and you’ll be out of this gig and on to another. But one day he makes eye contact with you as Greg gets shots of the customers. In that moment, he speaks to you. Not with words but with a dark, troubled aura. He presses a finger to his lips. You stay silent. He shifts his mournful gaze back to the food, and you follow suit. You stare at the food. It stares back.